Archive for September 17th, 2011

17
Sep
11

9.17.2011 … so fall came yesterday … but not that perfect fall day … dreary … and still dreary today … no pressure, but Senior Day with the Molls at Davidson College :)

Davidson College, Davidson College Senior Day, college search, parenting, kith/kin, kudos.  Kudos to Davidson for a very well done Senior Day.  If you are considering going the next one is in October.  Well worth your child’s and your time.

LOL: The original has been taken down … so glad someone posted it on their blog!

yoga mat for sale. used once. – $1 (bellevue)

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don’t exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other’s body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don’t worry, I’ll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I’m in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, “for better or worse” is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don’t get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can’t really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it’s voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It’s like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and ‘cool down’ in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level – probably by 15 degrees. So let’s conservatively say it’s 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day’s turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein — effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the “shakes” consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self – check car for missing wet yoga towel in am.

via Hilarious Yoga Mat for Sale Ad on Craigslist.

apps, book app, free, lists:  Number 8 seems inconsitent with the rest of the list. 🙂

iBooks was the most popular free app in the Apple App Store this week, according to research from AppData, Inside Network’s data service that tracks app and developer leaderboards.

Explore these 20 free apps and find out what kind of literary apps succeed in this crowded marketplace. To prepare for Mediabistro’s upcoming Publishing App Expo on December 7-8, we spotlight the top grossing book apps, the top paid Android books apps and the most popular free apps every week.

Below, we’ve listed the top free iOS apps of the week–linking to App Data’s research about each individual app, including historical charts, developer information and download details.

via Top 20 Free Book Apps of the Week – eBookNewser.

President Obama, 2012 Presidential Election, Jewish vote:  Jews are a very small part of the overall population … so why is this a big deal.  Article is right; he has a people problem.

Polling and election results suggest a rising Jewish rebellion against the president. But a closer look reveals that these voters are not behaving any differently from other segments of the electorate.

In the most recent Gallup polling, Obama’s disapproval rating with Jewish voters rose from 32 to 40 percent, and his approval rating sank from 60 to 55 percent.

Viewed one way, these numbers demonstrate that Obama is still more popular with Jews than with the country at-large. Seen another they point to Obama having a serious problem with a loyal constituency.

Clearly, Republicans think its the latter. They point to the president’s controversial May speech on Mideast peace, in which he suggested that an agreement between Israelis and Palestinians should be based on 1967 boundary lines, as well as past rebukes of Israel from Obama.

Then came Tuesday’s special election to replace Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) in what by all rights is a solidly Democratic seat. Palestinian statehood became a wedge issue in this district, which has the highest percentage of Orthodox Jewish voters in the country.

But Obama’s position vis-a-vis Israel is not so clear cut. The administration is already planning to veto any United Nations Security Council resolution to recognize Palestinian statehood. Last week, the White House intervened to ensure personnel at the Israeli embassy in Egypt were evacuated safely after protesters attacked the compound — a move that won praise from American Jewish groups.

While the 9th district of New York, where Republican Bob Turner defeated Democrat David Weprin on Tuesday, is only about one-sixth Orthodox, that still makes it the most Orthodox district in the country. Many Turner voters interviewed about the race said it was actually Weprin’s support of same-sex marriage in New York State, not Obama’s policy on Israel, that energized them.

“The Orthodox community is growing faster than any other element of the Jewish community, and what New York’s District 9 proves is when sufficiently motivated they will come out to vote,” said David Pollock of the Jewish Community Relations Council.

So with the growing and more-conservative Orthodox community and Republicans determined to make Israel an issue, Obama might have to worry some about Jewish voters in 2012. But those concerns seem minor when compared to his problems in the rest of the electorate.

via Obama has a people problem, not a Jewish problem – The Washington Post.

Goodreads, book recommendations service : Anybody use Goodreads …  I never post … but do check when a friend posts.

Goodreads is now the Netflix of book recommendations, or at least the company thinks so, seeing as its CEO Otis Chandler said exactly that in a press release announcing Goodreads’ new recommendation engine yesterday.

It’s about time. Founded in 2006, Goodreads has gathered nearly six million users, a plump following for a niche social site, but while six million is a respectable number, the nature of Goodreads’ service requires these users to be fairly active to get much out of it. To grow the audience, Goodreads needed to appeal to a more passive audience. Some may call these people lazy. I prefer to think of them as busy. And yes, I’m one of them.

via Finally, Goodreads Launches Book Recommendations Service – Techland – TIME.com.

‘Life Hacks’, LOL:  OK … new name for redneck solutions …life hacks sound nicer.

Once reserved for computer programmer tricks and shortcuts, “Life Hack” has become a great way to describe the clever/brilliant/ridiculous solutions to everyday dilemmas we see posted online. It’s hard to describe what a life hack really looks like, but let’s just say you know it when you see it.

Take these 17 pictures below, for example. Haven’t you ever struggled to fill a large bucket with water when only a small sink is available? Boom, dust pan solves the problem. Or have you ever wondered how to cool your beer when the refrigerator’s on the fritz? Boom, air conditioner to the rescue.

We’re not saying all these would-be inventors are bound for “As Seen On TV” deals, but a few of these solutions are pretty brilliant.

As for the rest, we’ll let you decide if these “hacks” are truly innovative or just accidents waiting to happen.

via 17 Crazy/Brilliant ‘Life Hacks’ (PHOTOS).

Foursquare, Foursquare city ‘badge’ , Chicago: FourSquare … why do it when you can do the same thing on FaceBook … what am I missing.

Chicago will become the first major city with its own Foursquare city “badge”—earned after “checking in” at five of 20 designated neighborhood attractions—under a tech-savvy plan unveiled Friday to coincide with Social Media Week.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel billed the so-called “Windy City badge” as a way to promote small businesses, keep tabs on the social scene and give people a “greater sense of intimacy” that’s sorely lacking in today’s over-worked, multi-tasking world.

“We today as individuals who are very wired don’t have a level of intimacy,” the mayor told college students from across the Midwest at the Heartland Cafe, 7000 N. Glenwood.

“This is an attempt to give us that intimacy and relationship and community building we can’t get any other way as we all get siloed off in our own individual worlds.”

Emanuel, who has his own social media director, will be “checking in” on Foursquare as he hop-scotches across the city.

But in a rare moment of candor, the 51-year-old mayor acknowledged that he was venturing into uncharted waters.

via Chicago checks in for Foursquare city ‘badge’ – Chicago Sun-Times.

Apple, iPhone 5:  In case your interested … Apple’s iPhone 5: delays, cases, Sprint, NFC and more – The Washington Post.

writing, editing, tips:  some more good advice …

For last year’s boot camp, Jan Winburn, CNN.com’s senior editor for enterprise, discussed five questions all writers should ask themselves as they approach each story: Through whose eyes are you telling the story? Who has something at stake? What’s going to happen next? What’s the story really about? Where should the story begin?

If you haven’t read her essay, do it now — it’s chock full of great advice. A key item to note is the difference between reporting and storytelling. A basic news story reports the facts — who, what, when, where, why (the so-called “5 W’s”) and how. A great story gives readers an experience, puts them in the middle of the action, with a character, timeline, scene, motive — all the elements of any great work. Before you start, know what kind of story you’re planning to tell.

via Write it down, make it better: Editing tips – CNN.com

How to edit your way to a can’t-miss story – CNN.com.

cities, urban development, pop-ups, Great Recession:  Now they evidence both creativity and the recession.  I just want to go on a pop-up tour!

Temporary Is the New Permanent

When Toys “R” Us does a pop-up shop one can certainly make a case for the waning effectiveness of the genre. But despite their co-option by hipsters and marketing gurus, the temporary space remains a sharp tool in the urban revitalization kit. Why? As we well know, cities are starved for cash, their workers weary of bureaucratic obstacles and the word “no.” So they welcome the creative, energetic, and financially prudent efforts of grassroots organizations that have seen opportunity in crisis. Vacant lots, abandoned buildings, parking spaces, and even slivers of pavement, have been transformed by prudent partnerships between governments, artists, architects, and designers, and volunteers motivated to improve their own communities. The best of these efforts are designed to enhance daily life not promote product or “lifestyle.”

via Temporary Is the New Permanent – Neighborhoods – The Atlantic Cities.

Tareq Salahi, White House crashers, life stranger than fiction:  Truly, I thought this one was a joke.

“There is no hope or possibility of reconciliation,” Tareq Salahi said, adding that he “has been greatly hurt and disturbed” by Michaele Salahi’s actions.

The couple gained notoriety in 2009 when they crashed a White House state dinner. Michaele Salahi was a cast member of the reality show “Real Housewives of D.C.” last year, but the show was canceled after one season. She was thrown off the reality show “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” when it became apparent she wasn’t addicted to anything.

Tareq Salahi said in the court filing that Schon was his wife’s former boyfriend. Schon’s band had played at the couple’s northern Virginia winery, and photos on social networking websites show them partying with the band on several occasions. He also said the band paid for his wife’s travel, accommodations and other expenses.

Tareq Salahi claims he has suffered both emotional and physical harm from his wife’s actions. In addition to being able to stay in their home, he asked the court to ban both parties from harming the value of their assets, threatening or harassing each other

via He stopped believing: White House crasher wants divorce; wife ran off with Journey guitarist – The Washington Post.

Easy-Bake Oven, icons, change:  Can’t they just leave some things alone.  After reading this article, I realize that I probably had one in its first years …. The Easy Bake was introduced in 1963!

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This week, Hasbro announced that its iconic Easy-Bake Oven would abandon its nefarious light bulb, a byproduct of toy’s 11th redesign. Understandably, we’re shaken by this news and as you search for blame, point your finger at the environmentally conscious set. As we began to phase out traditional light bulbs for the more energy efficient compact fluorescents, the death of the 100-watt light bulb was imminent – as was our childhood culinary experience. (At least we didn’t let something as frivolous as safety concerns to alter our favorite childhood hazards.) “This gave us a reason to do it completely differently,” Michelle Paolino, a vice president of global brand strategy at Hasbro, told the Associated Press. “We wanted it to look more like a real appliance, not a plastic toy.”

Still, it’s hard to believe that from now on, American youth won’t know what it’s like to learn about cooking (or burn units) by way of plastic ovens and light bulbs. Introduced in 1963, Kenner Inc.’s Easy-Bake Oven was the original chemistry set for confection. Children followed painfully simple cooking instructions – mostly of the “Add water. Stir” variety – to yield miniscule cookies or brownies. The updated version, the Easy-Bake Ultimate Oven ($49.99), features a warming unit closer to a traditional oven that can climb to temperatures of about 375 degrees while the outside of oven “remains only warm to the touch,” according to the AP.

via Hasbro’s New Easy-Bake Oven Ditches the Light Bulb – TIME NewsFeed.

Google Wallet:  Enjoy!

2012 Presidential Election, election laws, partisan issues, democrat v. republican: This happens whenever there is power balance shift … and the party out of power whines.

Looking to capitalize on their historic gains last year, Republican lawmakers in several states are rewriting their election laws in ways that could make it more difficult for Democrats to win.

They have curbed early voting, rolled back voting rights for ex-felons and passed stricter voter ID laws. Taken together, the measures could have a significant and negative effect on President Obama’s reelection efforts if they keep young people and minorities away from the polls.

This year, more than 30 states debated changes to their voting laws. A dozen passed more restrictive rules requiring voters to present state-issued photo IDs, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures, although Democratic governors in four states vetoed them. Florida and Ohio will cut nearly in half the number of days for early voting, and Florida lawmakers reversed rules that had made it easier for former felons to vote.

“If you have to show a picture ID to buy Sudafed, if you have to show a picture ID to get on an airplane, you should show a picture ID when you vote,” Gov. Nikki Haley (R) said in the spring when she signed the bill into law in South Carolina.

via Republicans rewriting state election laws in ways that could hurt Democrat – The Washington Post.

students, work-study jobs, education, random:  I think I would have died …

Some student jobs aren’t just about the money.

Curtis Adams discovered that on his third day working in the morgue at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center this summer, when a doctor handed him a cadaver’s intestine to clean out.

“You’re so excited thinking they gave you this important task to do,” he says. But as he snipped off the end of the intestine with a pair of scissors, Mr. Adams saw—and smelled—exactly what he had gotten himself into. “It was a trap,” he says. “I realized that was my initiation.”

His boss, Lawrence C. Nichols, a professor of pathology and chief of the medical center’s autopsy service, confirms Mr. Adams’s assessment: “You usually can only get someone to do that voluntarily once.”

For most students, a campus job means a gig like reshelving library books or swiping student ID’s in the dining hall—time-honored paths to a little extra cash for books and beer. But for a select few like Mr. Adams, the job itself is the payoff, the rare work-study or university-sponsored position that warrants a double take on a résumé and rewards its taker in bizarre stories and befuddled inquiries from friends and family. So you do what, exactly?

via Feed a Lemur, Castrate a Calf: the Real Value of Some Unusual Student Jobs – Students – The Chronicle of Higher Education.

Cities, neighborhoods, change, Brooklyn NY, diversity:  Rapid change … but are we adapting?

“Forty years ago, we wouldn’t have a cow foot,” Mr. Savarese said, pointing to a bucket of them. Goat meat, oxtail, Jamaican curry powder — these are the gradual changes that have allowed Michael’s to stay open as so many of its neighbors have closed to make way for wig stores and West Indian bakeries.

“We’re the last one,” Mr. Savarese said, slicing into a side of beef.

In a city where Jewish neighborhoods turn Puerto Rican, then African and then something else, Mr. Savarese belongs to the sparse ranks of holdouts who have held firm amid the city’s churn, even as newcomers have remade the streets around them. They dig in for many reasons: love of place, loyalty, optimism or sheer stubbornness. Nostalgia grounds some, inertia others. But all of them can still imagine, as they look out on their reshaped blocks, the neighbors and businesses that left decades ago.

At Michael’s, a woman carrying two shopping bags pushed open the door on a recent afternoon and asked, in a Caribbean lilt, for the price of the oxtail. It was $6.29 a pound, she was told. “Lord have mercy,” she said, backing out the door.

Mr. Savarese’s disparate tribe of holdouts includes an Irish bar owner in Brooklyn’s version of Chinatown, an artist hanging on in a zone of shoppers and tourists, and a drum maker who still creates them by hand. Taken together, they offer a twist on New York’s famous promise of reinvention. Theirs are stories of staying put.

“I call it the die-hard effect,” said Joseph J. Salvo, the director of the population division of the Department of City Planning. “There are people who will not leave. Irrespective of the change that is occurring, they regard that as their home.”

via The Last Holdouts in Changing City Neighborhoods – NYTimes.com.

Pat Robertson,  gaffes, faith and spirituality:  Personally, I think this is more than a gaffe.

To a minister like Robertson, marriage is empowered by the almighty himself as the holiest of institutions. It is the most unbreakable of bonds, well, except in one case. Calling Alzheimer’s disease a “kind of death,” in a Sept. 13 700 Club broadcast, Robertson advised a man whose wife is suffering from the incurable, degenerative disease to “divorce her and start all over again.” Unsurprisingly, the clip has gone viral and, like the many Robertson gaffes before it, prompted condemnation from others in the faith-based community.

via In Health, But Not Always in Sickness – Top 10 Pat Robertson Gaffes – TIME.

travel, photography:  Some good advice …

Capture the photo not taken on your next vacation, and you’re guaranteed to make a memory. Like a bottle of “Dandelion Wine,” it is an image that encapsulates your escape in a single frame. It can become a point of pride on the wall, or an image you look to when a case of the Mondays threatens to overwhelm.

So often, the camera becomes an afterthought in the suitcase. Think of it as a traveling companion, one to share every second of your adventure with. From the most exotic location to your favorite escape in the next town over, the world is full of photographic potential. And I promise you, “every, every inch” of it has not been photographed.

via How to take amazing travel photos – CNN.com.

LOL, old jokes, kith/kin:  Some jokes you just never give up …

In bed … 🙂

 




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