On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
And God saw it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”
And God, again saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”
And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.
via Bill Price.
Welcome to Priceless Voiceovers, official website for Addy award winning voiceover professional Bill Price. Bill’s smooth voice and ability to quickly deliver a wide range of styles of presentation make him a valuable resource for your voiceover needs.
E Rivers Elementary, Atlanta GA, history, kith/kin, childhood, Buckhead, Neighbor Newspapers: A history lesson for you … I attended E. Rivers from 1966 – 1973, many great memories.
After the fire, the displaced students attended classes at Garden Hills Elementary School, The Temple and Second Ponce De Leon Baptist Church while a new school was constructed. Designed by the architecture firm Stevens and Wilkinson, the new building opened in 1950. It received an architecture award for excellence and was featured in Time magazine.
George Takei, ”traditional” marriage, marriage equality:
George Takei Responds To “Traditional” Marriage FansThe legendary George Takei responds in the best way possible to the protesters who gathered during March Prop 8/DOMA hearings outside the Supreme Court. I went there to ask them to express their opinions on a pad of paper; now George is weighing in. Can he be any more amazing?
Swarthmore College, underreported sexual misconduct: Why?
A group of students filed a federal complaint Thursday against Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania that claims the private liberal arts school is underreporting sexual violence on campus and discourages victims from reporting.
The complaint with the U.S. Department of Education alleges Swarthmore has routinely violated the Clery Act, a federal statute that requires higher education institutions to track and publicize campus crime, including potential security threats and sexual assaults. The students say administrators have intimidated and discriminated against students and staff who have been vocal about Clery Act violations, although specific examples are being kept confidential.
free-market economics, science: Really?
People who endorse free-market economics — an economic theory, which argues the markets regulate themselves and work better without too much government intervention — are more likely to deny climate change, according to a study published last month in Psychological Science.
Based on a survey of climate blog visitors, the researchers also found that those who endorse free-market economics are more likely to reject other widely accepted scientific theories. About 97 percent of climate researchers believe climate change is real, according to a 2010 study from the University of Illinois.
“Endorsement of free-market economics predicted rejection of climate science,” the researchers wrote. “Endorsement of free markets also predicted the rejection of other established scientific findings, such as the facts that HIV causes AIDS and that smoking causes lung cancer.”