Archive for October, 2017


10.27.17 … heartfelt visit ..

“Solvitur Ambulando” – It is solved by walking, 2017 Labyrinth Walks, Wayt private labyrinth – Cumming GA:

Heartfelt visit with Martha Wayt!

Sometimes sharing space and time with a person you adore is just the thing to put your world in perspective. Thank you, Mrs. W!



10.17.17 … I am feeling grief and loss and devastation. And all that feeling is for a tree… Maybe my feelings of grief and loss and devastation are not just for a tree … #me,too

“Solvitur Ambulando” – It is solved by walking, 2017 Labyrinth Walks, Avondale Presbyterian Church, Charlotte NC:

In my opinion today is the first day of fall because today is the first cool crisp day. I actually moved my ac to “off.”

Of course I go to Avondale, and I’m excited because before I can see into the sacred garden, I can hear the chimes. There’s a wonderful cool breeze today and it is making me so happy. But when I turn in, I am immediately feel grief. The huge and gorgeous oak tree that has been there forever is gone, completely gone except for the mark on the ground. They have taken it down and removed the stump and even filled in the hole. A man is walking in the garden and I ask him what happened. He says that they took it down on October 7 because it was dead. I am feeling grief and loss and devastation. And all that feeling is for a tree.

But I hear sounds of life: a train, running water in the fountain, and the cool breeze rushing through the leaves. Everything sounds wonderful today.

As I walk, I actually feel cold.


Although I have several #me,too stories, all from my pre-midlife period, all involve substances and two where I was impaired unknowingly by boys from “nice families.” There is another, tangentially related to the issue, that took away my voice and I have never recovered. It’s still angers me to think about it.

Back in back in the 90s, I was a thirty something lawyer in a political discussion with a “mentor” lawyer that I respected intellectually. He was a liberal. I was centrist conservative. I said that I judged a candidate not just by intellectual ability, political leanings and experience, but also by character. I made the statement that I could never vote for Bill Clinton or any candidate if the thought of being in room with him made me uncomfortable. This senior partner absolutely railed on me, belittled me and repeatedly brought this up for weeks, stating that a candidate’s personal life had nothing to do with his ability to lead the country, and besides all men in power had indiscretions. I said character counts. He considered my opinion uneducated at best. I did not vote for Bill Clinton in 1992. This respected lawyer no longer respected me because he believed I used an irrelevant standard. And this was before Monica Lewinsky.

During the Clinton presidency I delveloped prong two of my test: the likelihood that our constitution could “control” the politician or that if not, the checks and balances therein would work.

I continue to use my standard. I could not in good conscience vote for Trump and voted for Clinton because Trump failed step one of my multi prong test and I believed our constitutional checks and balances would have worked with Hillary Clinton while being challenged by Trump.

It has been very interesting to see many articles and opinion pieces list Weinstein, Ailes, Trump, O’Reilly, Cosby and Woody Allen, but fail to mention Bill Clinton. I wish someone would explain that to me.

I realize that 1992 was the beginning of my personal multi-prong test. First character and intelligence, then constitutional checks and balances and finally political leanings and experience.

Maybe my feelings of grief and loss and devastation are not just for a tree.


and Maren Tirabassi is always on point …

Me, too

To you who are constantly alert

to the signs that sexual harassment is present,

that sexual violence has happened,

to women and girls,

to trans men and gay men,

to anyone vulnerable,

I promise — me, too.

To you willing to stop everything

to listen to a story,

to share from your story

without making it about you,

I promise – me, too.

To you keeping faith with


which means not making it an idol —

being quiet or getting help,

and most of all willing to apologize

when you guess wrong,

I promise – me, too.

In fact, to everyone

who risks being awkward or nosy,

being shut down,

called out for being strident

or self-righteous,

the wrong gender to speak out,

or for actually being wrong

in a particular situation …

in fact, to everyone

who is praying but also staying,

remembering these posts


and also next April,

who knows you surely

will fall short on every promise

you ever make,

I promise – me, too.

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October 2017